Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
wow!!!!!!!
so its been like 2 months since i posted something on here wow thats crazy, well i guess that is cause nothing is going on with my life i just sit around and do nothing i need to start doing something with my life i feel as though im just wasting it, and i know i should try to make videos again but i just cant come up with ideas at all it sucks thats the one thing i have never been good at was being creative i dont have a creating gene or whatever it is haha hell i dont even have dreams to be creative, the last dream i had was apparently from what i remember is i rick rolled myself and im like how much of a loser am i to dream of a rick roll what the fuck.
but anyways i thought i would put a few thought that are on my mind right now and so here i go
1 i feel as though i am a worthless piece of shit right now i mean i dont have a job i sit around at the house all day doing nothing i should go out and be productive but its hard i feel as my spirt (from what people call it?) is broken i dont have any idea what i want to do anymore i feel like i wish this 2012 thing would hurry up and take out the world so there would be no reason to have to care about this but, then i think i like breathing and walking around so i wouldn't really not want to exist it would prob suck since im sure once your dead thats it there is nothing, what would be nice is to be reborn with all the knowledge you have with your first (or 100th?) life and you can try to do something with the new life maybe make a change tell your mom to give less food more food maybe take more chances with the opposite sex, maybe try to be a better person or hell for some people be a worse person, but i know that will not happen its just a idea that will never turn to reality.
ya i have been feeling a bit down lately as you can tell i think i just need to make a fresh start i hope that soon i might get that chance when i go visit some family out of state if the timing is right i will go back with them to their home town which is like a 2 day drive? something like that, and see if i can find a job and possibly a place and start new there and try to find myself it would be nice i think thats what i need is a new start i think if i can get on my own feet and do something like own a house and have a steady job i might be happy? or something close to happy i dont care about sex,kids,relationships, and stuff like that it is not something i have ever cared about im sure i will end up being a old man with no one and when i die it will take a few weeks to find me cause the neighbor is complaining about the grass being on his side of the fence. but then again i cant say that cause who knows maybe one day i might be out and i just meet that person who clicks with me and boom i might actually want something like a relationship, so you never know, but if things keep going how they are i dont see it happening cause i have people who like me but i cant say i feel the same i really dont care for the affection of other, and maybe you're thinking (if you're reading this?) but you are sitting here writing this for people to read. no i really am not im writing this so i can get it off my chest to maybe make myself feel better cause that any random person could see this and go, wow what a dumb ass this guy is he thinks his life is bad..blah blah blah you know so if anyone reads this cool whatever you get to see some thought that are in my head and possible go geez this guy is a retard he is going everywhere in his rant why cant he stay on topic haha well i cant i just type what i am thinking at the moment
i guess i should stop this shit is pretty long i will try to update more it will prob be like this long boring rants about life or things i hate about me haha if you read, thanks i am shocked you made it this far without saying fuck this guy im tired of reading his shit haha. oh well im off its time for bed i need to start waking up and trying to do exercise cause im to damn fat i need to change maybe that will help me too? lose a bit of weight ok later by
-jon
but anyways i thought i would put a few thought that are on my mind right now and so here i go
1 i feel as though i am a worthless piece of shit right now i mean i dont have a job i sit around at the house all day doing nothing i should go out and be productive but its hard i feel as my spirt (from what people call it?) is broken i dont have any idea what i want to do anymore i feel like i wish this 2012 thing would hurry up and take out the world so there would be no reason to have to care about this but, then i think i like breathing and walking around so i wouldn't really not want to exist it would prob suck since im sure once your dead thats it there is nothing, what would be nice is to be reborn with all the knowledge you have with your first (or 100th?) life and you can try to do something with the new life maybe make a change tell your mom to give less food more food maybe take more chances with the opposite sex, maybe try to be a better person or hell for some people be a worse person, but i know that will not happen its just a idea that will never turn to reality.
ya i have been feeling a bit down lately as you can tell i think i just need to make a fresh start i hope that soon i might get that chance when i go visit some family out of state if the timing is right i will go back with them to their home town which is like a 2 day drive? something like that, and see if i can find a job and possibly a place and start new there and try to find myself it would be nice i think thats what i need is a new start i think if i can get on my own feet and do something like own a house and have a steady job i might be happy? or something close to happy i dont care about sex,kids,relationships, and stuff like that it is not something i have ever cared about im sure i will end up being a old man with no one and when i die it will take a few weeks to find me cause the neighbor is complaining about the grass being on his side of the fence. but then again i cant say that cause who knows maybe one day i might be out and i just meet that person who clicks with me and boom i might actually want something like a relationship, so you never know, but if things keep going how they are i dont see it happening cause i have people who like me but i cant say i feel the same i really dont care for the affection of other, and maybe you're thinking (if you're reading this?) but you are sitting here writing this for people to read. no i really am not im writing this so i can get it off my chest to maybe make myself feel better cause that any random person could see this and go, wow what a dumb ass this guy is he thinks his life is bad..blah blah blah you know so if anyone reads this cool whatever you get to see some thought that are in my head and possible go geez this guy is a retard he is going everywhere in his rant why cant he stay on topic haha well i cant i just type what i am thinking at the moment
i guess i should stop this shit is pretty long i will try to update more it will prob be like this long boring rants about life or things i hate about me haha if you read, thanks i am shocked you made it this far without saying fuck this guy im tired of reading his shit haha. oh well im off its time for bed i need to start waking up and trying to do exercise cause im to damn fat i need to change maybe that will help me too? lose a bit of weight ok later by
-jon
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