i forget to mention but i have been posting up dailyish vlogs lately on my vlog channel
http://www.youtube.com/user/jonbohnvlogs
if you have time go watch some videos they might be boring but you get to see what i do or well technically dont do since there is not much i do mostly lately has just been walking in the yard and talking to the camera and letting the dogs run free haha
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I want to move
I have been thinking about it alot but i feel like i should move away from this place, but im scared to leave cause its pretty much all i know since i have been here for most of my life but the sad part is that i cant stand it out here i dont want to go anywhere cause im afraid im gonna get shot or stabbed haha which is prob not gonna happen but it might since its a pretty bad area, especially if you wear the wrong color haha but i dont know i feel like i should leave here, but like i said im scared and im also making excuses to stay like oh i have friends here or i have a band or i have film buddys to help film when really i can find that somewhere else also.
I think i should prob take a chance and see the world and try to do something with my life i mean i am not doing anything now i just sit at home and watch netflix and play games with the occasional look for a job even though where i live it is hard to find a job and the fact i dont have a good working car makes it harder for me to get anywhere which sucks but then again there is the bus and all that shit so that really isnt a excuse for my laziness. i dont know hopefully soon i will try to do something for now i want to get my band together for one last show basically quite the other band and try to film a couple of little mini series and then maybe i will move somewhere? but i dont know where maybe i will go to arkansas where i have some family or maybe i will go somewhere new? maybe go to new york or Florida or hell maybe go international?
I have no clue but i need to figure out soon cause life kinda sucks haha then again who knows maybe the 2012 thing is real and all we have left is a few more months and its all over haha, if only that were true just like how the zombie apocalypse was supposed to happen last year haha
I think i should prob take a chance and see the world and try to do something with my life i mean i am not doing anything now i just sit at home and watch netflix and play games with the occasional look for a job even though where i live it is hard to find a job and the fact i dont have a good working car makes it harder for me to get anywhere which sucks but then again there is the bus and all that shit so that really isnt a excuse for my laziness. i dont know hopefully soon i will try to do something for now i want to get my band together for one last show basically quite the other band and try to film a couple of little mini series and then maybe i will move somewhere? but i dont know where maybe i will go to arkansas where i have some family or maybe i will go somewhere new? maybe go to new york or Florida or hell maybe go international?
I have no clue but i need to figure out soon cause life kinda sucks haha then again who knows maybe the 2012 thing is real and all we have left is a few more months and its all over haha, if only that were true just like how the zombie apocalypse was supposed to happen last year haha
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Man im getting old!!!
So ever since my birthday i have been thinking alot about my life and how i need to do something with my life i mean i have been thinking that for the last few years but it just hit me alot harder since i had my birthday, and it sucks cause im not sure what i want to do with my life i keep telling myself i should go back to school but i feel that its pointless. I mean its not pointless to go to school but for me it feels like it is cause all i would want to go to school for is film stuff but its not like if i get a degree in it i will get in the business you pretty much need to know someone to get a foot in, i feel that i should just skip the school and keep trying by doing videos on my own, but then again i need to start doing videos its been about 4 months since i have made a video which sucks.
also another thing that i have been thinking about is i think its time i actually looked for a girlfriend i think i might be ready to settle down, but as i think about it i feel like a piece of shit cause im a jobless, living at my moms worthless piece of shit, so with me thinking like that i find myself being semi depressed when it comes to wanting to ask a girl out which i need to stop doing cause its just gonna fuck me up in the long run, and then i will be like the 40 year old virgin guy who is afraid to talk to girls haha but thankfully im not a virgin although i wish i was with the few times that i have had sex haha. and then also what makes me not pursue asking anyone out is i keep putting down myself, which i mean is my own fault cause im not really trying to fix the damn problem, well im trying but its hard living in the ghetto and being jobless, since i dont have the money for a gym and im to afraid to go walking around town cause im sure me being a big bald white guy someone will think im some fucking racist nazi skinhead. and also another thing about my looks/body is im insecure about my size i think its super small and girls will just laugh at it hehe, even though i think a majority of girls are nice enough not to laugh at a guy with a small dick in front of him haha but still i feel as though if i am really small i wont be able to please the girl im trying to do it with .
so that is some stuff that i have though about after i turned 28.....ohhh im so old right haha. the funny part is i know i can fix all of the stuff i mentioned but i just keep putting myself down and it sucks in a way i kinda wish i can be brave enough to try and go out with someone and who knows maybe they will like me enough that it will help boost my self loathing haha, maybe i have to be like some of the people on tumblr and just say fuck it and post a nude pic haha although i would prob try to photoshop it so it makes me look slightly better haha. but i dont know im sure something will happen soon.
oh on a pretty good note though i have got my old band back together finally and we gonna try to start getting stuff together and hopefully make some songs and a cd, and do a few shows, before i decided if i will be leaving California for good since im kinda thinking about it but im not sure now cause some stuff is making me want to stay but other things are making me want to go. who knows i will have a decision in July for sure.
ok thats enough for today i will try to update as often as i can i always forget about this site but its nice to come and talk on here cause im pretty sure no one really reads these so its just a little outlet for me to get some shit off my chest i guess haha
also another thing that i have been thinking about is i think its time i actually looked for a girlfriend i think i might be ready to settle down, but as i think about it i feel like a piece of shit cause im a jobless, living at my moms worthless piece of shit, so with me thinking like that i find myself being semi depressed when it comes to wanting to ask a girl out which i need to stop doing cause its just gonna fuck me up in the long run, and then i will be like the 40 year old virgin guy who is afraid to talk to girls haha but thankfully im not a virgin although i wish i was with the few times that i have had sex haha. and then also what makes me not pursue asking anyone out is i keep putting down myself, which i mean is my own fault cause im not really trying to fix the damn problem, well im trying but its hard living in the ghetto and being jobless, since i dont have the money for a gym and im to afraid to go walking around town cause im sure me being a big bald white guy someone will think im some fucking racist nazi skinhead. and also another thing about my looks/body is im insecure about my size i think its super small and girls will just laugh at it hehe, even though i think a majority of girls are nice enough not to laugh at a guy with a small dick in front of him haha but still i feel as though if i am really small i wont be able to please the girl im trying to do it with .
so that is some stuff that i have though about after i turned 28.....ohhh im so old right haha. the funny part is i know i can fix all of the stuff i mentioned but i just keep putting myself down and it sucks in a way i kinda wish i can be brave enough to try and go out with someone and who knows maybe they will like me enough that it will help boost my self loathing haha, maybe i have to be like some of the people on tumblr and just say fuck it and post a nude pic haha although i would prob try to photoshop it so it makes me look slightly better haha. but i dont know im sure something will happen soon.
oh on a pretty good note though i have got my old band back together finally and we gonna try to start getting stuff together and hopefully make some songs and a cd, and do a few shows, before i decided if i will be leaving California for good since im kinda thinking about it but im not sure now cause some stuff is making me want to stay but other things are making me want to go. who knows i will have a decision in July for sure.
ok thats enough for today i will try to update as often as i can i always forget about this site but its nice to come and talk on here cause im pretty sure no one really reads these so its just a little outlet for me to get some shit off my chest i guess haha
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
my thoughts
so i have some feelings lately that have been very strange haha its not the first time it has happened but its one of the worst i guess you can say, i did a show a few weeks back and met a girl and was absolutely stunned by her i mean she was gorgeous i literally felt like the little nerdy kid in high school that was scared to talk to the hot girl haha and its kind of shocking for me cause im really not one to get like that i usually am just like hey what up and then shoot the shit, with this girl i literally said hello how are you and then stood there like a idiot and then set my drums up haha cause i didnt know what to do, as i started to grab my drums i was like dammit man what is your problem haha.
so as the night progresses i finished setting up my drums and she is sitting at a table with my friend and there talking and i cant help but do the shy stare where i use my peripherals to look at how gorgeous she is, and i ever once in a while think she is looking at me. i am not sure but im like oh shit maybe she likes me, then my well maybe there is someone behind me thought kicks in and there is someone behind me its my singer and he is setting up his stuff so when we get set up it wont be forever and a day haha, so i go well then ok she is into him and make my self kinda depressed (not really) and i continue doing my stuff.
So now its our time to be on stage we get set up and all that good stuff and luckily i wear a mask so i can be staring at lots of random things but i was paying attention to her a little bit hehe, and as we started to play i was noticing that all she did was stare at me, given that there is only 2 people on stage haha, but im like oh shit maybe she really does like me, hell ya thats awesome. i get all like yeah my ugly ass has a admire haha even though not to be conceited but i strange get the attention of quite a few girls and not all of them are like ugly or fat i get some good looking girls (like the one im talking about) who will check me out and you know want to do stuff, and i mean if you know me or have seen what i look like im not a looker im a big hairy bald guy that kinda has a baby face i guess haha. but anyways i was like sweet maybe i should talk to her haha, oh and i cant forget my friend who i have liked for a long time but cant do nothing cause i think her and her husband are still together was giving me so many signals and giving me more attention then normal which is strange and im like why god why do i have to be tested like this cause i mean if i get a for sure answer on them being broke up i would try and see what can happen there, but thats another story really i just wanted to add that in cause i thought it was interesting and strange and nice all at the same time haha.
so anyways we finish our set although alot of our equipment was malfunctioning so our set was short as hell, we start taking our stuff down for the next band my friend and that girl walk away to get a drink or something i dont know? i take my set back to the car and start putting it away and as i walked back to get some more pieces my friend says she is leaving and im like oh damn blah blah haha i give her a hug and tell her its good seeing her again and her friend is there and i still freeze up and all i can say is it was nice to meet you tonight and thanks for coming to the show............. WHAT!!!!!! dumb ass i should have said something else or something haha. but whatever chicken shit. so i go outside and putting the last pieces of the set in the car and they are coming out of the bar, and as they walk by im just like dumb and say take care, im like really fuck dude stop being a pussy.
so finished with all that hang out for a bit then people are being rude and im like wanting to kill these guys cause they were being dicks to some people who came to the bar, that after a few sec those people who just got there left cause they didnt like the jerk offs talking shit so i was like screw this im gone , i drive home and all i can think about is that girl, i didnt realize it but the whole time i didnt even introduce myself and never got her name thats how stunning she was for me haha, so when i got home it was late by the way and i had a beer or 2 cause i wanted to go to bed haha, and i decided to send her a message and i told her that i thought her friend was gorgeous and that i feel like a idiot and i didnt introduce myself, she replys back that if she would have know she would have introduced us, but she didnt and im the loser who didnt say nothing, i also told her in my message that in a way i would like for her to tell her friend that i liked her and thought she was beautiful and what not like that, now i dont know if she did tell her friend that but she did tell me that she was going out with someone and that someone is my old singer from my old old old band haha and i was like ohhhh shit im fucked...... then i was thinking well if she had a man why the fuck would she be staring at me the whole time like she wanted to rip my cloths off and fuck me there at the bar.
so the next morning my mom tells me that, that girl that i like was checking me out hard core the whole night and im like say what!!!!! you gotta be shitting me, my mom was like no the whole night all she did was look at me and then i guess i had talked to my mom at one point in the night and she had a confused face and went over to our friend and from what my mom could make out she asked who was that i talked to and my friend had said she was my mom and she then nodded and smiled at my mom, so im like at that point what the fuck really so does this girl like me or what? i then decided to add her on facebook haha ohh the life of facebook now huh lets become friends so that i can try to make you and your boyfriend break up haha, well all i can say is yes i did add her as a friend and we talk every now and again and i think we are slightly more comfortable talking cause she enjoyed my comment i posted on her thing where she was talking about whores and i said whores *looks around* i want one or two. and she thought it was funny and not weird, so its all cool. but on the subject of asking her out or trying to take her from her boyfriend, well im not the type of person to ruin someones relationship even if they seems to like me haha
so for now thats what i had to write i wanted this somewhere so that i can remember it one day and go man i almost had me one of the most beautifulest girls in the world....... well to me haha but if there are any new details to this story i will be sure to add it on here one day
so as the night progresses i finished setting up my drums and she is sitting at a table with my friend and there talking and i cant help but do the shy stare where i use my peripherals to look at how gorgeous she is, and i ever once in a while think she is looking at me. i am not sure but im like oh shit maybe she likes me, then my well maybe there is someone behind me thought kicks in and there is someone behind me its my singer and he is setting up his stuff so when we get set up it wont be forever and a day haha, so i go well then ok she is into him and make my self kinda depressed (not really) and i continue doing my stuff.
So now its our time to be on stage we get set up and all that good stuff and luckily i wear a mask so i can be staring at lots of random things but i was paying attention to her a little bit hehe, and as we started to play i was noticing that all she did was stare at me, given that there is only 2 people on stage haha, but im like oh shit maybe she really does like me, hell ya thats awesome. i get all like yeah my ugly ass has a admire haha even though not to be conceited but i strange get the attention of quite a few girls and not all of them are like ugly or fat i get some good looking girls (like the one im talking about) who will check me out and you know want to do stuff, and i mean if you know me or have seen what i look like im not a looker im a big hairy bald guy that kinda has a baby face i guess haha. but anyways i was like sweet maybe i should talk to her haha, oh and i cant forget my friend who i have liked for a long time but cant do nothing cause i think her and her husband are still together was giving me so many signals and giving me more attention then normal which is strange and im like why god why do i have to be tested like this cause i mean if i get a for sure answer on them being broke up i would try and see what can happen there, but thats another story really i just wanted to add that in cause i thought it was interesting and strange and nice all at the same time haha.
so anyways we finish our set although alot of our equipment was malfunctioning so our set was short as hell, we start taking our stuff down for the next band my friend and that girl walk away to get a drink or something i dont know? i take my set back to the car and start putting it away and as i walked back to get some more pieces my friend says she is leaving and im like oh damn blah blah haha i give her a hug and tell her its good seeing her again and her friend is there and i still freeze up and all i can say is it was nice to meet you tonight and thanks for coming to the show............. WHAT!!!!!! dumb ass i should have said something else or something haha. but whatever chicken shit. so i go outside and putting the last pieces of the set in the car and they are coming out of the bar, and as they walk by im just like dumb and say take care, im like really fuck dude stop being a pussy.
so finished with all that hang out for a bit then people are being rude and im like wanting to kill these guys cause they were being dicks to some people who came to the bar, that after a few sec those people who just got there left cause they didnt like the jerk offs talking shit so i was like screw this im gone , i drive home and all i can think about is that girl, i didnt realize it but the whole time i didnt even introduce myself and never got her name thats how stunning she was for me haha, so when i got home it was late by the way and i had a beer or 2 cause i wanted to go to bed haha, and i decided to send her a message and i told her that i thought her friend was gorgeous and that i feel like a idiot and i didnt introduce myself, she replys back that if she would have know she would have introduced us, but she didnt and im the loser who didnt say nothing, i also told her in my message that in a way i would like for her to tell her friend that i liked her and thought she was beautiful and what not like that, now i dont know if she did tell her friend that but she did tell me that she was going out with someone and that someone is my old singer from my old old old band haha and i was like ohhhh shit im fucked...... then i was thinking well if she had a man why the fuck would she be staring at me the whole time like she wanted to rip my cloths off and fuck me there at the bar.
so the next morning my mom tells me that, that girl that i like was checking me out hard core the whole night and im like say what!!!!! you gotta be shitting me, my mom was like no the whole night all she did was look at me and then i guess i had talked to my mom at one point in the night and she had a confused face and went over to our friend and from what my mom could make out she asked who was that i talked to and my friend had said she was my mom and she then nodded and smiled at my mom, so im like at that point what the fuck really so does this girl like me or what? i then decided to add her on facebook haha ohh the life of facebook now huh lets become friends so that i can try to make you and your boyfriend break up haha, well all i can say is yes i did add her as a friend and we talk every now and again and i think we are slightly more comfortable talking cause she enjoyed my comment i posted on her thing where she was talking about whores and i said whores *looks around* i want one or two. and she thought it was funny and not weird, so its all cool. but on the subject of asking her out or trying to take her from her boyfriend, well im not the type of person to ruin someones relationship even if they seems to like me haha
so for now thats what i had to write i wanted this somewhere so that i can remember it one day and go man i almost had me one of the most beautifulest girls in the world....... well to me haha but if there are any new details to this story i will be sure to add it on here one day
Monday, April 2, 2012
so a little rant
Well as of lately i have felt slightly depressed i don't know why but it sucks i think as i get older i wish things would get better but its not. I am sure i can do something more about it but i have no drive to do anything. i wish my goals in life were as simple as they were back in high school i just wanted to get a job, get a girlfriend/wife have a kid or 2 and live like that till i die, now all i want to do is try to be a movie director or something in the movie business and i know its a hard thing to get into so i feel as though my dreams(that just happend a year or 2 ago strangely haha) are fading and i don't know what i want to do with my life, i'm wondering if i should just do my simple minded plans when i was younger and just try to get a job and get a girlfriend, then get married have a couple of kids and hope that life will be great? i feel even thought as simplistic as that is wont satisfy me. well i have no clue anymore what i want maybe one day i will figure it out.
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